||[Mar. 14th, 2014|06:50 am]
Well, I've been up since 4am and I have to be at uni for 9. Between that I need to get Tyler fed, washed and dressed and to footsteps.
I feel a few different things about my life at the moment. I'm hopeful, I have so many aspirations for the future and I'm determined to achieve them. I'm slightly apathetic about uni though. At first I hated it, hated the place, wasn't keen on my classmates and was uncomfortable around the lecturers. Now things are a bit better, good days and bad days, but I need to keep my head down and stick in. Of course, as I'm really hopeful about the future, I'm also quite anxious. The though "what if it doesn't work out?" is niggling away at the back of my mind constantly.
In my time at uni so far, I have not gave it my all. I've been skiving way too much and explode into a massive ball of stress at the drop of a hat. All it takes is my bus to be really early so I miss it, or really late, to fuck up my day and then any hopes of giving it 100%, are gone. Stress makes it harder to concentrate. The transport is a massive factor affecting my attendance and stress levels, so much so, I've been taking driving lessons since last April and gonna do my test soon. I'd better fucking pass it because the thought of taking the bus for second year fills me with dread. Its fucking ridiculous that I have to leave my house 1 hour before I'm due in anyway. When I have a car, I hope that will be one weight off my shoulders.
The workload isn't too bad (although I do spend a LOT more time procrastinating and whining about the work on Facebook than I do actually doing the work) and for the professional skills module I'm getting a lot of Cs and Bs, for my biochemistry prelab report I got 75% (equivalent to a first, motherfucker!) and for other assignments I've done, well, there's an issue. We submitted our bioinformatics assignment, for the biodiversity and evolution module, in December. We were told to expect to see our feedback by the end of January, well... It's now the middle of March FFS. 13 weeks since we submitted the work, uni policy does state that we will always receive feedback with 4 weeks of submission. Bullshit obviously. And now the same thing is happening with an essay submitted for Cell biology & Microbiology on February 10th. So I don't really know how I'm doing, whether I'm doing well or not, at the moment.
I'm not going to point fingers, blame or criticise anyone because I don't want to get into trouble, but this is an issue and myself and a lot of my classmates are understandably pissed off. How much longer is this going to continue for? Do you think we might see some feedback before the beginning of April? I doubt it.
So yeah, I deffo have mixed feelings about uni at the moment and I hope I'll be much more positive in my second year. It just seems a bit of a farce at present.