||[Aug. 23rd, 2009|11:14 pm]
Oh fuck! Maybe I should stop drinking.
So I had a reasonably good night on Friday. Then I got home, and naturally, went on Facebook. I should have learnt my lesson a long time ago doing social networking sites when drunk is a BAD IDEA.
So you get this little box with "People you may know in it" and a fucking relative of Andy's come up in it, I dont know why coz there's only one friend in common anyways. But SILLY FUCKING ME CLICKS "Add as Friend" Mainly out of curiousity and just to test out if she would accept it or not. Haha she didn't. I'm hardly surprised lol.
But I feel stupidly embarrassed, a second after I clicked it I shouted "NOOOOO WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" you cant UN-REQUEST someone once you've done it, there's no undoing it. Shit. I wasw meant to fade into obscurity forever as far as that family is concerned. Never EVER to be heard of again. And now I've just drew attention to myself again.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
I miss being pregnant as blatently it was the only time in my life when I had any self control. Don't tell me not to beat myself up about this, or dwell on it. I cant help it I'm fuming. Alcohol is bad. I'm a naughty girl, an idiot, undignified and totally and utterly shameless (ok that statement is a bit redundant considering I'm here now expressing how ashamed I am) so yes there's some pretty powerful self hatred running through my veins at this moment.